How did I get here?

A week and a half ago, my therapist asked me to think about where my worldview came from, or how it was formed, and how I got my values. I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the last few days, especially as I’ve been forced to interact with people whose ways of viewing the…

Four Years and 40k Later

I've written and rewritten and spoken aloud and revised and bitten my tongue and tried again on this blog post more times than I can count. And now, I'm trying again. It's hard to find the words to describe my college experience. College for me has been more like a feeling, or perhaps a series…

Living with Mental Illness

Because it's finals season, it seems like everywhere I look I’m being reminded to take care of myself and prioritize my mental health. But what does self care mean when you're dealing with depression? Here’s my list: 1. Recognize that your energy is limited. I use spoon theory (which quantifies your total mental and physical energy…

A Little Over a Year Ago

tw: suicide ~*~ A little over a year ago, I was working on a project for my Graphics class while sitting next to my boyfriend when I was overwhelmed with the urge to stop existing. I didn't want to end my life, necessarily, but if someone else had ended my life for me in that…

If You Need Help

As someone who has had depression for a year and a half, as someone whose depression was largely triggered by school, as someone who is queer and a woman of color and whose depression is partly shaped by the political reality of living in a world that does not value my existence, as someone who…

To All the “Model Minority” Students Out There

I have spent a good portion of this year watching in mild horror as my peers pull ridiculous stunts to achieve perfection in their courses. From multiple days of all-nighters in a row to chugging ungodly amounts of caffeine, any tactic appears to be fair game to get your assignments to be flawless before you…

Envy

tw: suicide, depression ~*~ Envy and it's not intentional the apathy the disinterest the emotionless shrug being left on read the way it oozes out between words-- the pure envy at how others can laugh and smile and talk and hang out and party and stay up 'till 6am and have hopes and dreams and…

An Impassioned Plea for Ethnic Studies

A plea to my STEM friends: take a single ethnic studies course before you graduate college. If you're Asian American, as many of you reading this probably are, take a single Asian American studies course. Just one. It will change your life, I promise. You will have your mind opened and stretched in unimaginable ways—…

But You’re You

At age ten I hate being "smart" Not the adjective itself, but the label because smart means Different And because I share my knowledge enthusiastically and freely My peers construct a pedestal for me And they place me there, and for the first time, I feel a divide between the public self and the private…

Career Fair Woes

I have a lot of drafts for blog posts waiting in the back of my mind (and in our backlog-- Sajani will vouch for me there), but with Career Fair coming up and recruiting season kicking off in earnest, I felt like it was time to put out a blog post on mental health that…